It took us a while to recover from this one in order to write a review.
This movie taught us that anything is possible.
What we learned:
1) It is possible to make a movie without a protagonist. Well, there may have been one. If it is who we’re thinking then it’s possible to write a movie where the protagonist misses all major fight scenes and about 95% of the movie.
2) It is possible to make a wardrobe for all the female characters in a movie by using only pasties and drapery cords.
3) It is possible to make a movie that leaves you wondering: Was there actually a villain?
4) It’s possible that people from Britain have no idea how to play strip poker.
5) It’s possible to make a movie where the most developed and loved character is actually the talking elevator.
6) It is possible to make a movie about a race of topless female aliens stealing women from Earth and kung fu fighting men with sonic karate chops that is SO boring that the audience sleeps through most of it.
7) For once, you can sit through a movie and think, “Wow, Barbarella did this so much better.”
MOVIE IN A SENTENCE OR LESS: The longest three hours of your life that you will NEVER get back … wait, that thing was only an hour and a half … !@#$@!#$!