Tag Archives: Movie Reviews

MOVIE REVIEW: UNDEAD

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A movie that kept us asking–“Exactly WHAT are we watching???”
Undead

What we learned:

1) Every boy named Marion turns out to be a bad@$$.

2) This movie may contain some of the most awesome action sequences involving zombie fish EVER to make it to the big screen.

3) The “Weather Girls” had it wrong.  It isn’t just raining men … IT’S RAINING AUSTRALIANS!

MOVIE IN A SENTENCE OR LESS:   It is true … everything in Austrailia really is out to kill you.

MOVIE REVIEW: NUN OF THAT

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Yet again we prove that there isn’t anything our b-movie group won’t watch. However, after this one, I think one of our members has been permanently traumatized. He was in a fetal position for most of it.

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Things we learned:
1) Matching your eyeshadow to your lip hair is an important part of fashion   Things we learned:
2) Instead of rulers, the Vatican is now handing out machine guns to nuns
3)There is line-dancing in heaven (we always thought it would be in the “other” place
4) There is no end to nun puns … and “porn” mustaches
5) What’s a little good-natured blasphemy among friends?
6) Apparently Jesus moonlights as a lounge singer in his spare time
7) Stripper nun!

MOVIE IN A SENTENCE OR LESS:  It really is possible to insult every major religion in 100 minutes or less.

MOVIE REVIEW: VAMPIRE WHORES FROM OUTER SPACE

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We watched a little slice of special.

VAMPIRE

What we learned:
1) Yes, this movie actually exists
2) Alien vampires landing in West Virginia should NOT be a pick-up line
3) Rednecks should never EVER dance
4) The fate of the world should NEVER be decided by an Alien Pimp / Vampire Whore dance off with rednecks and idiots

Movie in a sentence or less: I know what you’re thinking, but this is NOT a porn.

MOVIE REVIEW: DR. HORRIBLE’S SING-ALONG BLOG

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Dr. HWe loved this movie. Afterward, we watched “Puppet Dreams” episodes as well. Below is what we learned from the movie and also the episodes.

Things we learned:
1) The laws of physics do not apply to Neil Patrick Harris (Don’t ask. It made sense last night.
2) What we learned about Bollywood, we can’t print here
3) Our friend with a puppet phobia may never sleep again

MOVIE/EPISODES IN A SENTENCE OR LESS: “I don’t have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.”

MOVIE REVIEW: MOONRUNNERS

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This is the film that the t.v. show “Dukes of Hazzard” is from.

Moonrunners

Things I learned: 1) That at times, I have WAY too much time on my hands. Perhaps I should take up needlepoint. 2) Driv-thru means something totally different to moonshiners and rednecks. 3) Blowing up buildings is just a little harmless fun among friends. 4) Moonshining is an honorable family business. 5) In some movies, the donkey named Beauregard is actually the best actor (and has the best lines)

MOVIE IN A SENTENCE OR LESS: “… they’re just good ole boys, never meanin’ no harm …”
Movie in even less: Yeeeehawwwww!

Click HERE for the trailer.

MOVIE REVIEW: “INTO THE MOUTH OF MADNESS”

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MouthofMadness

Our Movie group learned:
1) Wearing a straight jacket is okay. It’s like getting a warm hug … from yourself.
2) Never EVER trust creepy little kids. Did we say EVER?
3) Being infected by an ancient evil looks a whole lot like herpes … Um … er … the kind on your face.
4) Got a little evil? They have a cream for that … or an ax to the face.

MOVIE IN A SENTENCE OR LESS: Never live in New England.

Movie Review: “CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE INBRED REDNECK KIND”

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I, along with some intrepid friends, went places we were never truly meant to go.

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This movie …. the more times you watch it, the less you remember. Honest, I remembered this being a good movie, but I’m told now that the movie may have just ended up being too traumatic to remember. I’ll right this before I forget more … For this to serve as a warning to others …

Things we learned: 1) Never trust mind-control mullets that run around by themselves and make tribble noises (yeah, you read that) 2) Never EVER click on the trailers on the menu. There was one that we will NEVER speak of again (that one we remembered). 3) Never trust people wearing shirts with the SPAM logo on it.

MOVIE IN ONE SENTENCE: Well, it’s time for me to take a brill-o pad to my brain now.